Sales Training

…Going on the defensive kills your initiative and hands it over to the customer. Instead of a accurately managing the situation, sales people get insecure, worrying that the customer won’t think the product or service is good enough to justify the price. You perceive the need to “prove yourself” and your product or service. By submitting to this temptation, you’re surrendering your authority and expertise by defending things that don’t need defense and aren’t relevant to the current situation.

You must keep the initiative, turn the question around on the customer. If she says you’re expensive, it is best to agree and turn it back on her.“Yes, my prices are high but let me ask you a few questions…”

By leading her through your questions, she’ll tell you why your prices are high and why they should be high. There is no substitute for the customer telling you why you’re worth it rather than you trying to tell her.

It is infinitely more powerful for your customer 

to tell you why you’re worth it 

rather than you telling her.

Humor/Business Humor

Introduction: Second Place is the Second Best Place to Be

There are more than 8 billion people on this planet; it is clear that you are one of them. Imagine that total: eight billion – the numeral 8 with 8 or 9 zeros following it. The sheer magnitude of the number is difficult for most of us to comprehend. For example, if you laid 8billion people down, head to foot in a straight line, most of them would be angry or unhappy.

The point is: 8 billion is a lot of people. And you and I are just one of them. Actually, we’re two of them but for the purposes of my point, we’ll say that we are one of them. That’s a lot of people on one little planet, especially during rush hour when all of them are in front of your car.

Now that we’ve determined that 8 billion is a large number of humans and French people, it’s vital for you to understand one basic premise: you are not the best in the world at anything you do. No how and no way are you the best in the world at any one thing. Simply stated, the odds are enormously against you being the very best in the world at anything you may try to do – there are simply too many people on the planet doing way too many things way too well.

You’re not the tallest, the shortest, the smartest, sexiest, sharpest, wealthiest, quickest, best-selling or best-smelling. You’re not the cutest, funniest, brainiest, wittiest or most talented cello player in the world. You weren’t the fastest runner in your 7 grade field day and the only medal your Pinewood Derby cars ever got was Participation.

This is not to say that you’re not special: you are more special than anyone else reading this book. The very fact that you’ve purchased this book shows that you have a minimal sense of judgment, a modicum brains and the very least amount of taste. You’ve mastered the ability to read, you’ve got a semblance of a sense of humor and your hands seem moderately clean.

Memoir/Crime

This is a detective story. Mine.

My very own true-life, crime-story, pulp-fiction of the love of a lifetime who turned out to be at least three other people and nobody who he said he was. This is my cynical glimpse into the abyss of a volcanic relationship with Jim: a gifted charmer, this smooth sociopath, an average f*ck with bags of money stolen from people smarter and dumber than me. In short, it’s a love story for this millennium where it’s harder to tell truth from fabrication because people just don’t give a damn for the difference between the two.

We lie to ourselves so much that we can’t recognize sincerity because, when woven into creative falsity, it’s screwing us over anyway. We’re so calloused by the onslaught of commercial bullshit that personal honesty seems quaint, an odd relic from some earlier age like hoop skirts or whole milk. We’re told lies in public because it’s what we want to hear. After all, what’s the difference between truth and fiction when each causes equal damage?

But I digress. In brief, I whirled through a modern-day romance, got married, almost had a honeymoon, settled down and then Jim disappeared. Almost. Jim had never been who he said he was – though what he turned out to be was a master criminal, thief, con artist, fraud and, technically, a rapist. His accounts were either close enough to the truth to be credible or the tales were so absurd that he didn’t believe them himself, an understandable, if not entirely forgivable masculine trait if there ever was one.

Socio-Political

As we begin this book, there are a few things you should know: the American Public is not getting anything close to the truth about the US immigration system and the last assertion is an understatement of cataclysmic proportions. The vast mountain of misconceptions, phony data, fear-mongering and outright lies which have been foisted on US citizens defies easy description. As immigration has become a political punching bag, pummeled by every side with equal ignorance and arrogance, it is not a stretch to say that almost ANY information or statistics one might receive through the media are rigged for political and administrative purposes.

Immigration policy is not merely misunderstood – even by the politicians who botch and bungle it – immigration is an idea which has been viciously demonized, inciting terror in the minds of average people by directly linking terrorists to it. Immigration – the tradition which created the United States as it is now known – has become something which most descendants of immigrants – 99.1% of the US population at this writing – would limit to the point of strangulation or eliminate it entirely.

Speech/Presentation

Good morning.

Thank you for joining us this early – we will make certain your investment pays off. My name is Raj Sundaresan – an ancient and mysterious name. Please don’t ask me to spell it – I’ll have to get out my business card.

I am CEO and founder of Airbee Wireless, Inc. – the premier innovator of intelligent software for short-range wireless voice, data and video communications. Simply put, we are creating a revolution in wireless personal area networking. Our technology is so advanced, you won’t even have to ask your kids to explain it to you.

Over the next 15 minutes, I will provide an overview of our commanding capabilities, innovative strategy, cutting-edge assets, brilliant staff and detailed plans. Fortunately, our business plan is easier to understand than my accent.

One thing you will be able to understand is our bottom line – with our advanced technology, planning and personnel, we will be solidly profitable within 6 months of full funding. We will make money and a lot of it.

At the end of my presentation, I will answer all of your questions, except the one about why your printer won’t print. No one has the answer to that…